Green Tomatoes

This morning I went out on my porch to do my devotions. I've created a habit of this since moving into my new house. If I'm home, I start my day with my breakfast and devotions on my porch. 

This past spring I planted 2 tomato plants in two round pots and some herbs in a rectangular pot. I did this so that when I moved I could bring my plants with me. 

Since moving, my plants have been under a lot of stress. They've been revived several times due to under watering and extreme heat. They've been forgotten while I was traveling and the cherry tomato plant even had a branch snapped half off. I decided to keep the broken branch attached and after a few days it self-healed and started producing fruit! In fact, it has as many tomatoes as the rest of the plant that wasn't damaged in the move! 

So anyways, this morning I sat down to do my devotions and I noticed a small green tomato on my Beefsteak plant! All at once I sat there in awe and near tears as God revealed to me the discipline panned out in this plant. Half-dead and under stress, this plant didn't promise fruit. In fact, I had come to terms with the idea that I probably wasn't going to get any tomatoes from that plant this summer since it was so stressed from all the changes (yes that's a real thing for plants). Regardless, I had decided to keep watering it. EVEN IF it never bore fruit, I wasn't going to leave it to die because it is my plant and it matters to me.

 I matter to me. 

There it was right in front of me. The wisdom God has been growing in me for a long time. EVEN IF "it" doesn't happen, keep working as if it will. My plant didn't die because I didn't stop watering it. I was okay with watering a plant that I thought wasn't ever going to give me anything in return and yet it did! It will. 

Sometimes trusting that God is good even if He doesn't give you what you ask for is the hardest part. It was for me. These tomatoes are a reminder to me that God sees me and honors my commitment and my even if mentality. 

Tuesday Thoughts

Today I'm thankful for friends who keep me grounded. Friends like Lauren who I can text when I want to text someone I shouldn't. Isn't the definition of insanity something about doing the same thing over and over yet expecting a different result? 

This summer I'm doing things differently. While there are so many reminders around me of love lost, there are infinitely more reminders of blessing and provision. Sure I can't drink a Nantucket nectar or swing on a swing without a twinge of loss, I trust that I'll be okay. Summer 2015 and summer 2016 were spent highly invested in a whirlwind summer fling. I isolated myself to limit accountability. I chose to seek out selfish gains and God was not honored through any of it. You only hear what you want to hear right? Good thing this summer I've got accountability. I won't let him into my life or my head again. 

I once took a personality test (for a dating site I'll leave name-less) and learned that I am fiercely protective. Also that I love deep and fast. When I decide I care about someone, I don't hold back and it's dangerous. Someday it will be the most valuable part of my relationship, but in the interim, it's risky. 

Here I am at 10pm on a Tuesday praying for a man I probably haven't met yet. Every day at 10, my calendar reminds me to pray for my future spouse. I pray that he is well. That he feels loves by God. That he is patient in waiting for me as I am impatiently waiting for him. I pray that he will find favor at his job. That he and his family will be well. I pray that he can believe that I love him already. I pray that he fiercely serves God and that God will bring us together. 

Perhaps it sounds odd to you, but marriage matters that much to me. It's worth the prayer time and energy prior to being a wife. Jesus I trust you.